Longing and Lust
by wiley22
Summary: Claire is confused about her feelings for Myrnin and Shane. Who will she choose? My first attempt at fanfiction hope people like the first chapter. Go easy on me but give positive or negative reviews. Be Honest.
1. Chapter 1

Claire was lying in bed next to the warm heat of Shane's body spooned against hers, his arm was limply draped across her on the outside of the duvet. Claire studied his face as the sun peeked over the horizon and the light hit his face making the angles of his face strikingly beautiful. It always struck her in her heart, how anyone could love her, plain old Claire, skinny not curvy and not in her opinion beautiful no matter what Shane tells her, she always a shock when he looks at her with so much love. Claire had to drag herself away from staring at his face and manoeuvre out from underneath his arm. Slowly she tip toed around the room to gather her clothes and slipped out of the room to head for a shower. After what felt an amazing shower, she got dressed and slowly poked her head back into her room to grab her book back and head to TPU.

After a long day of classes Claire just wanted to go back to the Glass house however she promised Myrnin her vampire boss/friend that she would go to his lab (cough cough Lair) not that Claire would admit to him that's what she calls it. Myrnin's lab was airily quiet as she went in and it was totally pitch black. The dark seemed menacing, daring her to come in. Slowly she made her way in and put her arm out against the wall looking for the switch as she descends the stairs. She found the switch as flicked the light on, closing her eyes against the glare. Claire looked around the room it didn't look any different, just the usual chaos that was Myrnin's lab.

'Myrnin?' Claire asked the air.

'Myrnin you here?' where the hell is he, Claire thought he never likes it when I'm late and he doesn't even bother to turn up. Like what the hell, he should be here. Claire slowly made her way into Myrnin's bedroom; Clare had stayed here once against her will when she had to for the sake of the people she loved. He wasn't here either, although the lights where already on in here. Claire had a quick look around and before she turned around a hand grabbed her around the mouth stopping her from screaming. The hand was cold and felt damp? OMG Claire's heart was going a mile a minute, please don't be a Draug! We had only just destroyed them and the head Draug Marcus, we couldn't have missed one. Over the intense beating of her heart Claire could have sworn some one was talking to her, telling her to calm down…..it sounded like Myrnin.

The hand spun her around and relief flooded out of her as she was looking up at Myrnin and his naked chest?! His hair was dripping wet and he had a towel slung low over his hips. OMG Myrnin was naked and all she could do was stare at his masculine figure and his chest. Myrnin coughed making Claire jump out of her skin and feel a blush rise up over her cheeks making her look what she thought resembled a tomato. Claire felt as though she has been caught doing something, which technically she had. Myrnin was looking at her with this look of such longing it hurt her to look into her eyes but there wasn't anywhere else to look without seeming like she was checking him out which actually shocked her because before he coughed that's exactly what she had been doing.

'Um…..hey Myrnin sorry for the intrusion but I thought we were working, I didn't expect you to be, um…taking a shower. Ill just go wait outside.' She tried to manoeuvre around Myrnin but before she could make it out of his bedroom. Myrnin grabbed her arm and spun her round to face him. Myrnin slowly bent his head and kissed her on the lips, it was so unexpected and lovingly gentle. Claire surprised herself because she felt herself respond to the kiss. Opening her mouth for Myrnin to make the kiss deeper, Myrnin pushed Claire up against the wall and had one hand around the back of her neck. Claire's hands were feeling the muscles and movements of Myrnin's broad back, the movements of their mouths timed perfectly and tongues coming together his cold and hers warm. It was if they had moulded into one person. Claire moaned into his mouth and Myrnin responded the kiss was like pure lust.


	2. Chapter 2

Claire moved her hand up over Myrnin's back and put her hand into his dark curly damp hair. She felt like she was drowning in a sea and Myrnin was her air. Slowly Myrnin moved from her mouth and kissed the side of her face down to her neck. Claire moaned, which made Myrnin look up. His eyes staring intently at her face with this deliciously wicked smile on his face. He kissed her neck and made his way back up latching onto her lips. Myrnin growled deep within his chest making Claire suddenly realise what she was doing and how wrong it was, what about Shane, she shouldn't be doing this.

'Myrnin' she tried to say between their mouths. She moved her arms and tried to get his attention by pushing him off her. God he's strong, no shit he's a Vampire, she will be lucky to get blood from a stone at this rate. Myrnin moved his mouth away allowing Claire to get some air.

'Myrnin' she said louder this time. He looked up.

'Myrnin, I'm sorry but I can't do this, I don't know what happened but this should not be happening.' The look in Myrnin's eyes nearly broke Claire's heart bringing unshed tears to her eyes.

'No my dear, entirely my fault, I think it best you go before we do something that you will regret.' Claire noticed that he said she would regret it, not that they both would. She always knew that Myrnin cared for her and she cares for him. But did she love him, more than she loved Shane?

God she didn't know the answer to that question and it scared her. She was still stood there staring at Myrnin, when the unshed tears in her eyes just poured out of her all the love, hurt and confusion pressed down on her looking for a release and this was it, uncontrollable crying in front of her mad scientist boss who she had just had a very hot make out session with. God what is the matter with Claire, get it together she told her self. God what had she done, this was not supposed to happen. What about Shane, what would he say and do when he found out.

'Hush now Claire, I hate to see you cry, we will forget this ever happened and I won't say anything to Shane' Myrnin said. Claire looked up she was shaking but slowly getting the crying under control.

'Thank…..You' she managed to get out in between sobs. When she got control of her self she looked up and was surprised to see that Myrnin had got dressed while she had been inconsolable.

'Myrnin I mean what I said thank you but I should let you know that I am going to tell Shane what happened it might not be today but it will be soon.' Myrnin looked thoughtful at that.

'He's going to be angry little bird, most likely with me but I would prefer he be angry at me than you'.

Claire nodded 'It would be best if I left now….bye Myrnin'

'Bye'

Claire turned to leave and looked back as she walked out of the bedroom to see Myrnin sitting on his bed looking down at his hands with tears falling from his face. It took all her strength to leave Myrnin like that looking so lost and alone.

When Claire got out of the shack she was surprised to note the time and see the darkening sky. It was never a good thing to be caught out at night in Morganville what with all the Vampires. Claire made her way quickly to Lot Street. When she saw the Glass house, her home she experienced a range of emotions happiness, anticipation and guilt. She felt so ashamed but she had to go in it was her home and she needed to face Shane at some point. She quickly rubbed at her face to remove any signs of tears, put the key in, unlocked the door and walked in. She felt a sudden rush of heat as if the house was happy to see her.

'Hey CB that you?' Eve shouted from the living room.

'Yeah' Claire called back.

'About time you got home, the boys were just about to send out a search party'

Claire made her way to the living room, where she found Eve casually flicking through a magazine. Eve looked up as Claire walked in. Eve looked so exotic in her Goth gear. Her eyes were accentuated by thick black eye liner which made her eyes look huge; she had on her black cargo pants, a tight black tee and skull socks. Her hair was pulled into pig tails at odd angles. To others she might seem odd but to Claire she was Eve her best friend. Claire gave Eve a small smile and joined her on the sofa.

'Where are the guys then?' Claire asked casually.

'Shane, Michael' Eve shouted up the stairs 'She's home so put down the silver and stakes, unless of course it is the meat variety because I'm starved'

Shane and Michael came down and joined them in the living room. They both looked at Claire. Michael looked at her with this gaze that seemed to say 'What's wrong?' as if he knew what had happened.

Shane looked at Claire first with worry then with pure unaltered love. So much so that it was too much knowing what she did that she looked away.

'So dudes did you bring me a meaty steak, I am starved.' Eve asked.

'Sorry no meat steaks just the wooden variety, but I did happen to make some chilli.'

'Ugh, is that all you can cook?'

'At least I can cook, unless you just want a sandwich'

'No No mmmmm chilli, I can't wait. I will go and heat it up.'

Claire stood up and mumbled that she would go help Eve.

They all sat down to dinner around the table. Claire didn't realise how hungry she was until she wolfed down her first bowl and rushed off to get a second. Claire was quiet all through dinner letting her self think while she listened to Eve, Michael and Shane talk about their day. After dinner Claire made her excuses and went to her room. She sat on the edge of her bed and fell back onto her bed looking up at the ceiling with wide eyes.

After what felt like hours of staring at the ceiling, there was a soft knock on her door. Claire got up to open the door. Shane was standing there with a face full of worry which did nothing to help ease her guilt.

She moved away from the door and sat on the bed.

'You can come in Shane' Claire said.

Shane came in and shut the door behind him. Claire looked down at her hands and thought this is it I have to tell him. Tears formed in her eyes. She looked up into Shane's face.

'I have to tell you something' Claire stated.

Shane looked at her expectantly.

'I have done something and I don't know how I feel about it but I know how your going to feel, your going to hate me' at these words Claire broke down crying.

Shane came closer to the bed and put his hands onto Claire's.

'Whatever it is Claire you can tell me' Shane said affectionately.

'I…. I….. I kissed Myrnin'


	3. Chapter 3

'You did what?' Shane asked with a look of disbelief.

'He kissed me, and then I kissed him back, I'm so sorry Shane. I didn't mean for it happen it just did.'

Shane kept looking at Claire with a blank expression, which Claire couldn't read.

'How long?' Shane said.

'How long were we kissing? Um…'

'No how long have you and him been going at it behind my back?' Shane said sharply.

'Shane it's not like that, it just happened today and has never happened before, and you have got to believe me?'

'Do I now? I have to believe you because if you say it, it must be true.'

'No you have to believe me because I love you and love is based on trust' Claire said tears spilling down over her cheeks. Shane's expression changed and there was a dark fire burning behind his eyes.

'Do you love Myrnin?' Shane asked.

'I….I don't know?' Claire replied.

Shane clenched his fist; OMG Claire thought he's going to hit me. No he won't he loves me he's just angry.

Shane unclenched his fist and looked Claire in the eye.

'I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you Claire that I'm not the undead guy you crave. I can't be with a fang banger and I can barely look at you. It just had to be him didn't it, I told you that I didn't like the looks he gave you but you were too naive to notice. Well he's welcome to you.'

Claire's heart felt like it had been ripped out of her chest and stepped on shattering into a million pieces. Shane gave her one last look before walking out the door.

Claire collapsed on the bedroom floor, curled up into a ball and cried.

**Shane POV. **

Shane gave Claire one last look before walking out the door and down the hall to his own room. Shane lay down on his bed and thought about what had just happened with Claire.

Damn I hate Vampires all they do is take regardless of the consequences. Claire, my rock in this shitty town, wasn't mine anymore and now I had nothing to hold onto. Shane felt like he was falling through space with no gravity because Claire was all he had that made him be a better man, giving him something to live for.

When Claire told him about the kiss it was like he had been punched in the stomach and couldn't breathe. 'He kissed her and then I kissed him back.' Claire's voice echoed in Shanes head. God I knew he liked her he just looked at her with such longing and everyone could see it but not Claire.

I felt the anger rise in me like the tide, I felt my fist clench and saw the look in Claire's eyes. She thought I was going to hit her and then her eyes changed like she knew I wouldn't. Which I wouldn't I am not my father and I never intend to be. But god I wanted to hit something so bad maybe Myrnin. That might make me feel better. I asked her if she loved Myrnin and she said she doesn't know. Like what the hell, she doesn't know, what am I meant to make of that but every time I looked at her I just kept seeing him kissing her and it was driving me crazy so I said some stuff to Claire. Not really sure what I said but she started crying but I held my resolve I couldn't be with her if she could kiss him back and not know how she felt.

At some point she must have exhausted her self out because she woke up laying on the floor when her alarm on her phone started screeching for attention. Claire picked up her phone and threw it at the wall where banged into the wall and back down to the floor. Claire crawled over to the bed and climbed into it.

She started crying again. How did it all go so wrong? She was happy with Shane but she couldn't say that she didn't feel anything for Myrnin but was what she felt for Myrnin the same love she had for Michael who was like a brother or the love she had for Shane. Around mid day there was a knock on the door, Claire looked over at it but didn't say anything. The knock sounded again.

'I know your in there CB, can I come in?' Eve asked through the door.

Claire still didn't say anything but she knew the door was not locked and Eve could just walk in. But she didn't.

Claire was in and out of a dream like state cry, sleep, wake and cry again. Hours passed and then the door went again.

'CB I'm coming in with or without your permission' Eve said.

Claire didn't reply.

'Fine, that's how you want to play it' Eve said turning the door knob and letting herself in.

Eve looked at Claire who was curled up in bed facing the door.

'Oh Claire, What's the matter? Are you ill? Is it about Shane?' Eve asked

At the mention of Shane's name, Claire winced and threw herself into Eve's arms and started to tell her everything that had happened. Eve listened and rubbed Claire's back soothing her trying to give her some comfort.

When Claire had finished she looked up at Eve, expecting Eve to be angry at her because she was Shane's friend before Claire's. How ever Eve was looking at her with a face full of worry and understanding. This set Claire off crying again.

'Hey CB hush now no more crying, what's done is done. What you need to do now is work out who you love and want to be with. Myrnin or Shane?'

'You say that like its easy' said Claire.

'Nope not going to be easy and someone is going to be hurt in the long run of things but you couldn't just string them along. Shane will get over the kiss soon enough and come to his senses but you owe it to him to be sure of who you want to be with before you try getting him back. Trust me CB.'

'Thanks Eve'

'No problem CB, now you must be starved so how about I order us some pizza and we watch some movies, the non romantic kind'

'Sure I could eat some pizza'

They eat pizza and watched films in Claire's room. Throughout the film Claire thought about what Eve had said about choosing between Myrnin and Shane. It wasn't going to be easy but it needed to be done. Tomorrow she was going to see Myrnin and go from there…..Hopefully.


	4. Chapter 4

In the morning Claire woke up, gathered up her clothes and went for a shower. She hadn't showered at all the day before and her hair was taking on a grungy, unwashed look. She felt like she needed to scrub away the last day and focus on where to go from here. After a hot shower, Claire got dressed and grabbed her book bag from her room. Claire stopped in front of Shane's room and listened at the door, she didn't hear anything but she didn't expect to no one in the Glass house got up this early only her.

She quickly went downstairs had some cereal, rinsed her bowl and left the house locking up behind her.

The walk to Myrnin's lab wasn't a long one but it gave Claire some sense of normality to her day. The sun was shining and it was warm with a nice cooling breeze. Myrnin wasn't expecting Claire today but she needed to do this now before she got too nervous. As Claire got closer to Myrnin's lab, Claire felt the nerves kick and surprisingly anticipation.

Claire got into Myrnin's lab using her key to unlock the door and made her way down the stairs. Surprisingly the lights were all on the lab, which made it all to clear that something was wrong. The room was a mess which is not to surprising but this; this was something else it was like a pair of lions had found there way into the lab and ripped the place apart. Claire made her way down the stairs, while searching in her book bag for some stakes. You could never be too careful in Morganville. Claire got to the bottom and looked at the damage, tables were ripped up from the floor, there was glass smashed all over the place, books ripped to shreds and there were dark marks across the floor.

Claire took a closer look it was blood, and not human blood Vampire blood. Claire shot up, dropped her book bag and ran for Myrnin's bedroom hoping to find him in there. She checked the bathroom and then ran back into the lab and opened the trapdoor, she couldn't jump down not without injuring her self.

'Myrnin' Claire shouted 'Answer me Myrnin, if you're down here make a noise anything'

'Oh god' Claire thought.

'Where's Myrnin, I hope he's ok, what happened here? Oh no…..Shane? Please don't let Shane have done something stupid'

'Frank, Frank' Claire shouted.

'I know you can hear me so show your self, Frank show your self or so help me I'll reprogram you, you hear me!'

'Reprogram me see if I care, you're just interested in finding your new lover fang banger, I see and hear everything you know. What if I told Shane that you and Myrnin have been going behind his back for weeks, how will he feel then?'

'That's a lie and Shane would never believe it. God do you want to hurt him so much that you would seriously do that'

'Shane's hurting now and I didn't do that did I little Claire, no you did'

'Just answer me one thing, did Shane do this?' Claire asked.

She stood their in silence, waiting for a response.

'You're a jackass you know that' Claire shouted.

'I'm not telling you shit'

Claire was furious she grabbed her book bag from where she dropped it, put the stakes away and gave the lab one last look. On a second look Claire noticed that Bob the spider was still in his fish tank unharmed. She picked up the fish tank and left Myrnin's lab. Claire made her way back to the Glass house as quickly as possible, without dropping Bob the last thing she needed when she found Myrnin was to tell him she had killed or lost Bob. Claire unlocked the door while carefully balancing the fish tank; she stepped in and locked the door behind her.

There was voices in the living room, Claire removed her book bag dropped it on the floor near the door and made her way into the living room carrying Bob. Shane and Eve were in the living room; Eve was leaning over Shane pressing something to his face talking in hushed voices.

'God' Claire thought 'we have only been over two minutes and there like this cosy in up with each other.' 'Shut up Claire, you have no right to be jealous plus Eve's with Michael.' The sane part of Claire's mind thought. Claire coughed; Eve looked up and moved away from Shane who was sitting on the couch with his head leaning back. On one side he was holding a damp cloth and on the side Claire could see were bruises on his cheek.

'God he had been in a fight, she wanted to run to him and make sure he was ok but he wouldn't want her too. Plus who was he fighting was it with Myrnin, I need to ask him but I had a feeling my day was about to go from bad to worse.' thought Claire.

'Claire why are you carrying a fish tank and please don't tell me that hairy thing I can see moving is what I think it is'

'Yes it's Bob the spider, I couldn't just leave him'

Shane looked over at Claire 'What Myrnin wants you to baby sit, are you adopting him. Claire and Myrnin's baby Bob' Shane said in a fake baby tone.

'You should know, where is he?'

'Where's who?'

'Don't play dumb Shane, I know you took him, just tell me where he is?'

'Took who?' Eve asked.

'He knows' Claire glared at Shane 'God Shane how do you expect me to work out how I feel if I can't see the object of my supposed affection?'

'Can you say that in English seeing as I'm so dumb an all, we here don't understand fancy terms' Shane said with a slow drawl.

'Myrnin, what have you done with him'

'Myrnin this is about…. Myrnin, I should have guessed, I don't know where Myrnin is he's count crankula, Maybe he's just up and left ever thought of that.'

'He wouldn't leave without saying good bye, plus you didn't see the state of his lab something has happened to him. You better not be lying to me Shane, its one thing to be angry, Hell be angry…. at me, Myrnin, the world I don't care. However I do care that if you did something stupid to a vampire, which in Morganville will get you killed and that I won't be able to save you this time.' Claire said tears forming in her eyes.

Shane POV.

Shane looked up at Claire; he loved her so much it hurt especially when she showed that she cared. When she first came into the room carrying bob and Claire looked at Shane and she saw the bruises. Shane thought 'Run to me, let me hold you Claire' and he had seen the look in her eyes, she had wanted to run to him and see if he was alright but she didn't and that hurt. But now when she was openly saying she cared what happened to him it was like being hit by a wrecking ball.

'Claire I honestly don't know where Myrnin is or what happened to him, I'm not saying I care because if I'm honest I don't but I know that you care and all though that pains me a great deal, its one of the things I have always loved about you.' I'm not usually so open with my emotions because well I'm a guy it's not the manly thing to do, especially not with other people in the room. I looked around and realised that Eve must have known things were going to get personal because she had gone probably up to see Michael and fill him in.

Claire nodded at what I said 'Thank you for your honesty Shane, though I have to know who you had a fight with if not Myrnin?'

'Just some guy at the local bar, and before you ask yes I'm too young to drink, no I wasn't drunk and yes I won.'

Claire smiled a little at that and I felt myself go warm with hunger for her, I wanted her, needed her but it was too soon for us, when she needed to find Myrnin at least to find out who she loved.

'God I wanted it to be me, I wanted her to choose me, needed her other wise I don't know how I was going to carry on living. Some times I hate my self for saying this but I hated that we helped bring her back from the dead where she choose me and stopped herself from turning into a vampire to now not know if that was possibly the right choice.' I hated Myrnin but never enough to do something to hurt him because I know it would just hurt her.

Claire could see the conflict going on inside Shane like a battle of personalities fighting to be heard. She was glad he was being honest with her and a little worried that he went to a bar and was fighting. Fighting was an outlet for Shane and always would be but in Morganville if you fought the wrong people, things would go bad and Shane didn't need bad right now. None of us needed him to be behind bars or worse.

'Shane I'll understand if you don't want to help me find Myrnin but I'm going to try, with or without anybody's help.'

'I'll help, can't have you going all Buffy the Vampire Slayer on people, when you don't have back up.'

'I second that' said Michael coming into the room followed by Eve who said 'I third that, umm….does that make sense…well you know what I mean, I'm all for a little ass kicking, can't go letting the girls side down now can I CB' Eve held up her hand and Claire high fived it.

'So how do we go about finding Myrnin?' enquired Eve.

'I suppose we go back to the scene of the crime, and at least now I have a vampire sniffer dog with me' Claire said.

Michael gave her the finger and it felt like old times.


	5. Chapter 5

Claire suggested going back to Myrnin's lab via the portals but that was vetoed by Michael who was thinking of making a quick get away if needed so we would be taking his car particularly because of his sun allergy. Though Claire had pointed out that she was there not to long ago and there was no body there.

'Ok Shane you go first, unlock the doors and get in, then I'll send the girls' Said Michael.

Shane ran out looking in all directions though it was still day time, its life saving to be cautious in Morganville vampire capitol of the world. When they were all in the car Michael drove to Myrnin's, it was quiet on the way everybody seemed lost in their own thoughts.

Claire was talking side glances at Shane who was in the back with her, He was staring out the window not that he could see anything because of the blacked out windows. 'He just can't bear to look at me' Thought Claire.

They pulled up just outside Mrs Day's house on the corner next to the alley that leads to Myrnin's lab. Mrs Day was sitting outside drinking lemonade and she made a move to leave when she saw the car. Claire jumped out 'Afternoon Mrs Day, it's Claire Danvers, sorry if the car freaked you out, there's no trouble ma'am.

'Claire hunny, how about you have some Lemonade and leave that old trapdoor spider alone'

'Sorry Mrs Day I can't today next time'

Claire turned around to see Eve and Shane standing by the car holding the weapons bag. 'Bye' Claire shouted to Mrs Day as they made their way into the alley.

Michael was outside Myrnin's shack standing in a small covering of shade with his big vampire coat and hat on to protect him from the sun.

Claire passed by Michael, fished her key out of her pocket and unlocked the door. Claire made a move to step through but Michael put out his arm, to stop her and shock his head pointing to himself.

Michael went in first, followed by Claire, Eve and then Shane brought up the rear.

As they went inside the lights were off, Claire couldn't remember if she had turned them off when she left but she didn't think she did, she was too angry at Frank. This brought nerves to her stomach; she quickly drew out a stake, to be ready for any danger. Michael flicked the light switch and Claire couldn't believe her eyes.

The lab was whole; no glass on the floor, no blood, no tables over turned and no broken discarded books, as if she been hallucinating the mess that was here earlier. But she knew she hadn't.

Michael turned to Claire with a confused look.

'um….Claire I thought you said there were signs of an obvious struggle, the only thing I see is that Myrnin might have actually cleaned his lab'

'I swear it didn't look like this earlier, it was wreaked it looked like a bomb had gone off in here and there was vampire blood on the floor in streaks like drag marks.'

'Maybe Myrnin made the mess then cleaned it up'

Claire walked past Michael and down the stairs into the lab.

'Myrnin' Claire called. There was no answer.

'He's not here, I swear something has happened'

'Quick question and one I think we should have thought of earlier but have you spoken with Amelie maybe she knows where he is.' Eve said. Claire and Michael looked at Eve with dumbstruck faces. 'Of course, thought Claire, I should have checked with Amelie.'

'I'm guessing by the look on your face that's a no, and I thought you were the genius CB, I guess all logic walked out the window.'

'I'll go see Amelie, and meet you guys back at the house.'

'No, I'll go with you, we'll drop Shane and Eve off and then ill take you to Founders Square.'

Claire nods.

They make there way back up to the car and drive home. Only then does Claire realise that Shane hadn't said a word the whole time they were in Myrnin's, he seems to quiet, he usually would have voiced his opinion whole heartedly about her wanting to go see Amelie. They drop Shane and Eve off at the Glass house making sure that their, safely in the house before driving off.

'So Claire anything you want to tell me about why Shane's blanking you all of a sudden'

'Don't pretend you don't know Michael, either Eve or Shane has told you or you heard it through super Vampire hearing and before you start having a go, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kiss Myrnin back when he kissed me but I did and now I'm not sure who I love.' Tears form in Claire's eyes.

'I'm sorry I didn't mean to drag it up but I needed to hear it from you, and I know you're sorry but it won't fix this.'

'God, Michael I know sorry won't fix this, why do you think me and Shane are technically on a break. It's because I need to figure this out which is why I went to see Myrnin in the first place.' Claire was angry now, where does he get off giving her relationship advice, Michael and Eve are hardly the poster children for a perfect relationship. 'Though in my opinion there is no such thing as perfect relationship, they take work.' Thought Claire.

They parked in an underground facility and used the lift to take them up to Amelie's office. Outside her receptionist was at her desk.

'I need to see Amelie, it's an emergency'

'She's not seeing anyone today, plus you don't have an appointment'

'I don't care about appointments, I need to see her now' Claire says trying to keep her anger and frustration out of her voice.

'Not possible'

'I'm not joking I need to see her it's a matter of life and death, Let me see her NOW!' Claire shouts the last bit getting annoyed with the receptionist.

'Is that anyway to speak to a Vampire, your being rude although you're usually so polite but not today I see.' A voice said coming from behind Claire.

'Oliver, I need to see Amelie now' Claire says turning towards him, with pleading in her eyes.

'Well I could go and ask if she will see you but I don't know if I will, you might be waiting a very long time'

'Please Oliver, I need to see her I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important'

'Ah there's the ever so polite Claire who once called me Sir, I shall see what I can do, since you asked so nicely.'

'Thank You' Claire grinds out.

Oliver walks off leaving Claire and Michael in the hallway, they take a seat and wait. About 10 minutes later the phone goes on the receptionist's desk, she looks at me while she's on the phone.

'Claire, you may go in, Michael you are to wait here.'

Claire gave Michael and apologetic look before making her way to Amelie's office. She was sorry because he came with her for protection and here she was walking into the lions den alone.

Claire stepped though into Amelie's office, Amelie was situated behind her desk, shuffling some papers. She was dressed immaculately as usual in a crisp white pants suit. She looked up as Claire entered the room, something passed though her eyes which Claire thought looked like sorrow.

'Claire, do come in and take a seat, I will be right with you.'

Claire made her way up to the desk and took a seat on the opposite end of the desk facing Amelie. Every time Claire came in here she felt like she was in high school and being called up to the Principle and was going to be expelled. 'My worst nightmare' Claire thought. Although this should be the worse scenario being called to Amelie was like meeting the Queen in Alice in Wonderland who at any minute could call 'Off with her head!'

'I know why you're here Claire.'

Hope burned in Claire at these words.

'You know where Myrnin is?' Claire asks.

'Yes, I do and I'm sorry but I don't think you should see him for a while' that flash of sorrow came to her eyes again.

'Why, what happened, did someone hurt him?'

'It's best I not answer those questions, because you won't like the answer.'

'Please I need to know he's ok, I don't care what you have to say tell me, Who hurt him.'

'You did.'

The shock of what Amelie said doesn't sink into Claire, I hurt Myrnin Claire thinks. How did I hurt Myrnin?

'Can…can you explain?'

'Not really but I can show you Myrnin, he won't see you but you will see.' Amelie stands and walks away. Claire moves to follow her.

Amelie takes her to part of the building Claire hadn't known existed.

They enter a room with a big glass window; the window is covered by a blind.

'Are you sure you want to see this Claire?' Amelie asks.

Claire nods unable to trust her voice.

Amelie pulls back the blind to reveal Myrnin or what appears to be Myrnin.

Myrnin is chained down on a bed, it looks as though the top layer of his skin has been removed there's blood everywhere.

Claire makes a noise somewhere between a growl and a gasp.

Claire looks at Amelie in horror.

'Who…who did this to him?' Claire gasps out only now realising she was crying.

'He did.'


	6. Chapter 6

Claire couldn't stop looking at Myrnin lying on that table and couldn't fathom what Amelie was saying he did this to himself? Why would he do something so stupid, so damn selfish people care about him and he goes and does this? 'You know why' a part of Claire's mind say, 'he did this because you left, because you pushed him away because he thinks you can't love him, but I do love him.' This thought shocked Claire into a sudden realisation she did love him more than she loved Shane. She wanted to protect Myrnin, comfort him, hold him, kiss him and be with him wholly.

Amelie POV

I watched Claire as she looked at Myrnin tears were streaming down her face and she was shaking her head as if to remove the images from her head, then after a few moments I saw a change in her as if someone had just thrown on a light to a dark room. Her eyes took on a bright look some form of understanding, maybe she was just realising why Myrnin had done it. It has to do with her I'm sure Myrnin wouldn't do this over anything else; it pained me to see him so.

I had been ringing him repeatedly for hours before I decided to send someone to retrieve him on my behalf, I needed to speak to him urgently. When the person returned so quickly and without Myrnin I nearly lost it, why wasn't he with them, I had given them permission to use force if necessary but as soon as I saw the look in his eye I knew there was something wrong. I followed him back to the lab using a portal directly in the lab, I had been warned about what I was going to see but it shook me to my core to see him so distressed it was like the time he had accidently killed Ada, all over again. Myrnin my one friend through these many years and to see him on the floor, blood everywhere pulling at his own skin ripping it from his flesh was haunting. I gave permission for him to be dragged away to a safe location for his own health.

Myrnin never said a single word apart from 'I'm so sorry Claire.' In that instant I hated her but seeing how much pain she was in over Myrnin made me think that maybe she did love him just not the way he wants her too. Love is pain, I'm sure someone somewhere said and it is so true, so much pain for the love and affection of another.

Claire was still looking at Myrnin; his skin was starting to heal in places with the help of a blood being fed to him through a tube. It was for the best Claire was sure that he wouldn't have taken the blood any other way. Claire turned to look at Amelie who looked lost in thought and in as much pain as Claire was looking at Myrnin.

'Amelie...Amelie' Claire said again this time getting her attention.

'Yes, Claire?'

'Can...Can I go inside to sit with him?'

'Claire I don't think that's the best idea, he's not in a fit state and he may attack you he's in pain and Vampires in pain and hunger can be very volatile.'

'I don't care I want to sit with him, I can handle Myrnin, Please?'

'Very well but I am not responsible for anything that happens in that room, Myrnin's safety is my number one priority and he takes precedence over you, Do you understand?'

'Yeah I understand I'm expendable, I get it and thank you, I know you see this as my fault, that Myrnin decided to do this and I'm sorry for that.'

Amelie said nothing to that just nodded her head; she just motioned for Claire to follow her. Claire followed Amelie back through the door that they came through and further down the corridor to another door.

'You may go in when you're ready, I shall leave now but I'll be back later to check on his recovery, also I will tell Michael to leave, so that you don't have to feel pressured by time constraints.'

'Thank you.'

Claire stood in front of the door, took in a deep breath and opened the door. The lights were on and Myrnin was on the table in the middle of the room, he looked so peaceful asleep but his skin showed how much he wasn't alright and how much pain Claire had brought on by pushing him away. Claire made her way over to Myrnin staring down at his face which had healed the most, Claire felt as though if she looked at any other part of his body which hadn't healed she was going to be sick. Claire gently brushed Myrnin's hair back running her fingers through.

'God Myrnin why did you have to be so selfish, I know you feel as though you should be punished but what about me and Amelie we love you and you force us to see you like this.' Tears escaped from Claire's eyes.

'Claire, I'm sorry...so sorry for kissing you, pushing you away.' Claire's eyes to Myrnin but his eyes weren't open, he was mumbling subconsciously. Claire sat on a stool next to Myrnin in silence brushing his hair silently crying. Claire loved Shane but she loved Myrnin more and it was so obvious to her now but she never realised it always putting her feelings for him aside, crushing them down but now in the faced with idea of losing him she felt the love seep through her and into him. His body was healing now and he was looking much better but she wished he would wake so she could tell him how much she loved him.

While she waited her phone beeped, a text from Michael.

_CB, Amelie told me to leave, saying that yo_u_ were with Myrnin. Hope yo_ur alright, let me know and text me if yo_u need a lift home. _

_Hey Michael, I'm alright just with Myrnin, he's not so good at the moment and he needs me. I'll be in touch. Thank You. _

Just then the door opened, Amelie and Theo Goldman walked in. Theo was a Vampire doctor, he was one of the few vampires that Claire trusted and felt comfortable around. Claire smiled at him as he walked over to join her at the edge of Myrnin's table.

'How has he been Claire?'

'Alright I guess, his skin has pretty much healed but he hasn't moved or said anything apart from some incoherent mumbling, can vampires go into shock from blood loss?'

'It's ok Claire; we have him under some vampire anaesthesia which has him asleep while he heals so he's not in more pain, so it's pretty normal that he hasn't woken up yet.'

Claire let out a breath that she hadn't realised that she had been holding.

'I'll take him off the anaesthesia now that he seems to be fully healed but I don't think you should be here when he wakes he's going to need to feed and it would like putting fresh cake in front of him and not allowing him to eat while we give him stale cake.' Sorrow and understanding in his eyes.

'As in I'm the fresh cake and it will be too hard for him to resist. I'll go to the other side and watch from the window, but I don't want anybody to tell him I'm here not yet, I need him to see it for himself.' Claire said looking straight at Amelie.

'I agree, he cannot afford a setback so we will not mention you, but are you sure you want to watch he could get savage.'

'If it gets too much I will make my own decision and thank you.' Claire left them in the room and went down the corridor to the other room. Claire watched through the window as Theo woke Myrnin up. Myrnin started to stir, Claire saw his fingers twitch and then he opened his eyes. His eyes were bright red, he looked lost, alone and Claire saw so much pain in his eyes that she couldn't look at him to long.

'Myrnin, I know you're in pain but I do not give you permission to hurt yourself and I will use compulsion if I need to.'

Myrnin gave Amelie a look which sent shivers down Claire's spine, he looked so much like old crazy Myrnin on one of his bad days when he was spiteful and mean.

'Now, your half starved and in need of blood I want you to drink these.' Amelie handed Myrnin what looked to be ten bags of blood.

Myrnin was now sitting on the bed, ripped into the first bag messily getting blood everywhere, about four bags in his eyes stopped being red and he started crying silent tears.

'I need you to drink one more Myrnin and then I'll give you the once over.' Theo said.

Myrnin nodded, sinking his teeth into the fifth bag, draining it. While Myrnin was drinking Claire watched intently and it took all her strength not to go running in as soon as he started crying. Theo gave him the once over saying all the damage was repaired. At these words Claire took of running for the next door. She knocked the door waiting for Amelie to come out.

A few minutes passed, Amelie and Theo walked out, closing the door behind them.

'You can go in Claire but be warned he's still healing and he is vulnerable if you do anything to upset him I won't look kindly at you.'

Claire nodded, Amelie and Theo walked off leaving Claire in the corridor looking at the door. Claire opened the door and walked in. Myrnin didn't take note of Claire's entry.

'Claire what are you doing here.' Myrnin whispered.

Claire walked up to Myrnin who was still sitting on the table, looking at the wall. Claire put both hands on either side of Myrnin's forcing him to look her in the eye.

'I'm here because I love you Myrnin and I know I'm realising this too late because I caused you pain so much so that you would hurt yourself, which was totally selfish by the way did you think I wouldn't care you if you died. You selfish jack ass.' Tears were running down Claire's cheeks, Myrnin lifted his hand and wiped away her tears.

'You love me?' He asked.

'Yes, Myrnin I want to be with you.' Claire leaned in and kissed Myrnin on the lips first gently and then deeper Myrnin wrapped his arms around Claire.


	7. Chapter 7

The kiss was an explosion on Claire's senses it was all raw emotion and clarity combined together. Claire had her hand through Myrnin's hair grabbing it at the back of his neck, Myrnin had one hand on Claire's waist the other was caressing the side of her body. His hand lightly grazed the side of her breast, making her gasp into his mouth. Claire slips her hands down Myrnin's side and runs her fingers of the contours of Myrnin's stomach, gently running her finger over his bare skin grazing his nipple. Myrnin growls lifting Claire up by putting his hands on her butt supporting her weight, Claire wraps her legs around Myrnin. Myrnin slowly trails kisses down her neck towards her collarbone.

'Claire...am I dead, for this feels like a dream that I never want to end.' Myrnin says between kisses on Claire's neck. Slowly Myrnin starts to pull at Claire's shirt.

'Myrnin stop...Myrnin.' Claire says breathlessly.

She looks into his eyes, hurt flashes in his eyes. Myrnin puts her down on the floor and starts pacing.

'Too good to be true, I knew it but do I listen to myself when it comes to you Claire, no...'

'Myrnin, I want to be with you but I want to take this slower, I want us to go out and do things together other than work to see if we can be more than just friends, I only said to stop taking my shirt off not to stop kissing me.' Claire feels herself smile trying to be wickedly seductive. Myrnin stalks over to her and kisses her gently on the lips. It was a gentle kiss full of love and longing.

'My dear you are quite right, we should take things slower, I apologise for getting caught up in the moment.' He holds out his hand Claire grabs his hand firmly in hers, they walk out the door and go to see Amelie.

Amelie POV.

I was not expecting Myrnin to stay here where I could keep an eye on him, so when he stalked into my office it was not a surprise. I was however surprised to see him in such high spirits after he inflicted injuries on himself, he was smiling and his eyes were bright. 'It could be the blood' I thought but I think it had more to do with our young Claire who came in with him holding hands. She was smiling and when he grabbed her and whirled her around the room she laughed. I watched the two of them together, and saw something in Claire's face I had not expected to see, it looked to be love but wasn't she with Shane Collins? And if not what did this mean about the two of them? I was not sure whether to be happy for Myrnin or worried this could only end in tears, heartbreak and possibly even death. Do I even allow it?

'Did you two just come in here to show me how inept you are at the waltz or was it just to flaunt how well you are now feeling?'

'My dear Amelie whatever do you mean inept at dancing? I am the best dancer and the waltz just happens to be my favourite.' Myrnin says with a sparkle in his eye.

'Can we get to the point of this display because Claire has been here for hours watching over you, having had no food and she looks exhausted and I haven't the time for your nonsense right now, some of us have things to attend to.' I said exasperated.

Myrnin eyes Claire suspiciously, like he thinks she may collapse from tiredness, he gently puts his arm around her.

'Very well, we came to tell you that I am leaving and going back to my lab, I will be there if you need anything.'

'I did not expect that you would stay once recovered, however you and I have things to discuss in private, I shall expect here tomorrow around two in the afternoon. You may leave.'

Myrnin nods once and then gently leads Claire from the room.

Claire POV.

Claire and Myrnin leave Amelie's office and head out into founders square. Claire is surprised to see how dark it is outside. Amelie had been right, she had been there hours and not realised. Thinking about it she hadn't realised how hungry she was, then as if on cue her stomach growls to prove the point.

Myrnin laughs gently. 'I guess the question I was about to ask has become redundant, as stomach has just answered on your behalf. We shall go have some food before I drop you home for the evening.'

Myrnin holds Claire's hand firmly as they walk through founders square and into Morganville looking for somewhere to have food. They decide on the burger place.

Myrnin slides into a booth and Claire slides in across from him. A waitress comes over and eyes Myrnin with a cautious look. They both order plain burgers with fries and a coke.

'So...this is sort of like our first date.'

'I guess it is Claire, not that it needs to be like most first dates, for one we have already got the awkward kissing done.' Myrnin says wiggling his eyebrows up and down with a mischievous grin on his face. Claire laughs.

'Right, so I guess this is the awkward part when we find things in common, although I guess I already know so much about you.'

'And I you, although there are maybe some aspects of which we have not touched on. I have a question, tell me about your childhood, I have met your parents and know that they are good people but I want to know what it is that you love about them?'

Claire pondered Myrnin's question for a moment or two before answering.

'I loved my childhood and I love my parents they made me who I am today and without their support and encouragement I doubt I would have put all of myself into my education. I have always loved science and they always encouraged me to pursue my curiosity of all things including science. '

'I love your curiosity and stubbornness, which I can see are traits that you have from your parents. They are genuinely nice people and I know that you are two.' Myrnin says.

The waitress comes over, placing their orders in front of them. Claire dives in and picks up her burger and bites into it now ravenous with hunger.

'What about your childhood?' Claire asks with a full mouth, so it comes out more like, 'mot amout mmm mildmood' She swallows and sips her coke.

'Sorry, what about your childhood?'

'Well, as you are aware I was born in _Cymru_ Wales. A Long time ago, I did not have the best of childhoods; my mind was always somewhere else instead of the task at hand which infuriated my mother often, so I had to endure beatings.'

Claire grabs Myrnin's hand on the table gently stroking his fingers 'I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring up bad memories.'

'They are no such thing Claire, beatings were common punishment during this time so it was not thought of as cruel as it is today. You see my mind was always on science and such things that I lacked concentration often as you are aware I still lack concentration now often going of subject my mother thought it was laziness and stupidity and I did not know that it was because of a thirst for knowledge.'

'Do you miss Wales?'

'Ydw I colli'r wlad fy nhadau, that means yes I miss the land of my fathers which is a saying in Wales. I miss the mountains of lush green green grass, the valleys and even the sheep.'

'Could you teach me somthing in Welsh?'

'Copy me, Fi cariad Bob y pry cop .' Myrnin says saying each word slowly enauciating eachword for Claire.

'Fi cariad Bob y pry cop, What does it mean?'

'It means I love bob the spider, I will tell him Claire i'm sure he will apprecieate your love.'

'Ha-ha Myrnin.' Claire says sarcastically.

Myrnin walks Claire home holding hands as they go; they both stand outside Claire's front looking at each other.

'Good night Claire and no need to come to work tomorrow but...if you wanted to come see me you know where to find me.' Myrnin turns to walk away, when Claire puts her hand on his arm, making him turn back; she walks towards him pushing herself up on tiptoes and kisses him gently on the lips.

'Good night Myrnin.' Claire walks in through the door, when she turns back to lock up Myrnin is gone. Claire gently brushes her fingers across her lips, feeling the imprint in her mind of Myrnin's lips on hers. She is so caught up in her thoughts that she doesn't notice that there is someone behind her until she hears him cough.

Claire turns to see Shane standing behind her. Claire can tell instantly that he saw them on the porch.

'I see no reason to ask whether you have decided if you love Myrnin more than me, because from what I saw it's obvious that it isn't me. I should say I'm surprised but I guess I'm not, I always saw this coming I was just to blind to see that you had feelings for him before it was too late.'

Shane turns to leave.

'Shane I'm sorry that I didn't realise it before but I still love you, I hope one day you might be able to forgive me and that we could be friends.'

'Don't hold your breath or do so I don't have to see you with him.' Shane walks off leaving Claire looking at him as he walks away.

Claire goes straight up to her room, and lies on the bed. It has been a long day and although Claire feels saddened by the loss of Shane in her life, she can't help but think of Myrnin and all there times together. Why didn't she accept her feelings sooner? Thinking about Myrnin brings to mind why she loves him. His passion, his wildness, his vulnerability and his thirst for knowledge are some of things that she loves. She remembers the feel of her legs wrapped around Myrnin and the feeling of her hands on his bare skin but the thing she remembers the most is the vulnerability of the gentle kisses which said more about his love.

**Thanks for the reviews. Hope you enjoy.**


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